Finally, orchestral music!
First off, you hit the atmosphere on the head very well. Sounds evil alright. It would be worrisome if a cinematic piece didn't live up to its function. :P
My first reaction to the orchestral part, is why is it so empty, notably in the bass area? I don't hear tubas, I don't hear double basses chomping away, the closest I hear is bassoon and bass drum. Without solid bases, it feels too light. In general, it just feels like you were trying to get a full sound but just didn't have enough instruments to really make it happen. It ends up sounding like a chamber orchestra with quiet strings, loud percussion, and very loud woodwinds and all the brass players are at lunch break.
This is an evil song, we want blasting bass trombones 'n tubas and contrabasses chugging away. Where are the cellos too? It's so open in the mids and lows aside form a bassoon doing some stuff. Brass really are missing from this. If anything is more associated with evil, it's blasting brass (and piccolos but that's a different kind of evil). If the audience doesn't think someone REALLY ate waaay too many beans, there's no point calling it cinematic music. ;)
I'm also sad the timpani kinda vanished after that first part. Timpani doing some rhythms and rolls would be great- provide counterpoint to those cinematic taiko rim shots that people use too much (hint: use lots of triplets and shit like that!). Maybe a snare might be good at points too- give it a march feel. Some tam tam/gong would also be nice- big full gong hit instead of cymbals at points. Really gives a nice full resonant hit.
The mixing needs some touching up as I said before. Rule 1 of orchestral writing is balance between the left and right (i.e. high and low). Without cellos, trombones, tuba, and basses, there's a hole in your right flank, up front, and the bassoon is too singular to fill it and ends up sounding strangely out of place in the mix. If you wanted to get around this without adding those, you would need to add some more stuff on the right. Maybe put the violas/vlnII's over on the right. It's done in some settings and would provide the right interplay between the left and right.
The choir is strange to the left, at least to me. I would suggest trying to get a surround sound of them and also increase reverb to place them behind the orchestra. Refer to some examples of choir-orchestral music for mixing/mastering protocols (I recommend checking out the way Bosa mixes his choir... I think he does a really good job making them blend).
Reverb is good, but you might want to experiment with ways to get all instruments sounding in their right levels. Some instruments are too close sounding and others are too far sounding (e.g. timpani and oboe are too close, and timpani is strangely to the far left, while it'd probably be at least further back and more centered if not to the right, depending on the setup).
Tip about RAM issues: Export stems of the primary instruments when you are happy with it. Create a new file and load in the stems and then add MIDI tracks with the new instrument stuff below. Some programs also let you render the audio from a plugin in place of the MIDI when you are done with it.
Keep compos(ed/ing)!
-Samulis
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My ratings:
Originality- 3/10 (pretty generic cin. orch.)
Relevance- 26/30
Composition- 20/25
Instrumentation- 10/15
Mastering- 7/10
Emotion/Interest- 6/10
Total: 72/100 (NG: 3.5 stars)