This is an NGADM round 1 review.
Your Score Breakdown:
Production: 27/30
Composition: 28.5/30
Orchestration: 14/15
Originality: 9/10
Emotion: 12.5/15
Total: 91/100 or 9.1/10 or 4.5 stars
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This track really was one of my favorites out of the contest. I really enjoyed the combination of various influences. I could hear a bit of Russian Romantic (mussorgsky-esque) and some Impressionist and post romantic. Then along came the cinematic part... which was another story, but I will get to that in a bit.
My first point of awesome was the inclusion and detail of woodwinds in the first part of the work. There's a lot of nice runs in there and some good use of orchestration to paint the intended picture. I really felt it had a great set of textures for the most part.
The big problem here is that the piece is not memorable. I can listen to it and I can't even remember what I just listened to. My memory sucks, but this isn't just a matter of that. I can remember that cheesy pop song I heard earlier on the radio. Just because you're writing scary music doesn't mean there is no need for any memorable phrases or something that stands out or really has a sense of "you" to it.
A slightly smaller but also important issue is continuity. You start off with this great impressionistic-style piece, an then transfer into this brassy, almost modern climax. I don't ask that you write a piece that sounds like a period, heck no, but when you do mash up stuff, make sure both parts are equal. The contemporary action-horror cinematic portion was very basic- brass tropes, drums, some runs. Lots of big bold noises played very loud and without any resemblance of effective phrasing as present earlier. It just kinda pops in our face and goes BWAAA BWAAA BWA BWA BWA BWAAAA. It doesn't really make me feel anything, it's just a bunch of obviously sampled instruments and the effect, the texture the first half strained to produce, is shattered on impact.
This piece made me think a lot about some old Bernard Herrmann music (guy who scored all those old Alfred Hitchcock movies like Psycho and Vertigo), the "grandfather" of the "horror" music in movies. Herrmann managed to create very powerful pieces without losing the effectiveness of emotions to just blasting brass, and without sacrificing the quality of his composition. I think taking a listen to his work may help you come up with different ways to approach the climax of this sort of style without having to lean back on tropes. He also is a certified black-belt at leitmotifs and their effective use, so maybe there's something in there that will help you come up with ways to make your music more memorable. (examples: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMTrVgpDwPk, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC5AzFc3coo, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMMDvDUXzA, etc)
The thing that makes horror (or all music for that matter) music effective, and is something that really defines why your first half is super effective, is tension and release. Being able to grab the listener's heart and release it is a very challenging thing to do, but with effective use of dynamics, tensions, and textures, it is considerably easier. Also important an hand-in-hand is the dynamic of the textures and orchestration you are using, notably for the climax. Blending instruments via doubling or harmonizing in thirds or sixths is a hugely effective and powerful art that is mostly ignored by many today. Consider an example from Vertigo, composed by Bernard Herrmann: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytC5jUBpMls
In this scene, the main character is waiting for his love to emerge from a bathroom (silly, right?). Yet, we hear this great tension and release, and a buildup as she approaches, finally releasing in a full-out climax, featuring a resolution to major, with a central motif throughout it all. If you don't have this little earworm in your head for at least a day, I would be quite amazed. In the world of music, tension and release is the most powerful force in existence. Consider ways it might apply to creating any emotion or texture, not just love or fear or anger (although tension that doesn't release or fails to resolve can create feelings of desire and longing). Even in scary music, feeling the tension and release is important to stir the emotions of the listener. ;)
I hope at least one thing in here will prove helpful. As the doctor recommends, take with a grain of salt, after lunch, and KEEP COMPOSING! :)