Decent piece. My main issue is one I have with many many pieces- the background instruments feel like pads, not people. This isn't an issue with the way you humanize it or mock it up or anything, but an issue with the way you write for them. It's not an issue in pop genres, but is one for music with an orchestra in mind. I feel as if you originally wrote music in a pop or electronic style and recently decided to start writing orchestral/cinematic.
Your strings section sustain patch has too long of an attack- listen to some real strings on youtube and try to bump the start of each note a little ahead of the measure so it's seamless- so it starts at the start of the measure, not a little in.
I also agree with Step- percussion are not very well used. Snare drum, clash cymbals, gong, are all crucial members of the percussion section that are key to having a strong intense section. Percussion can also help with transitions, another area you should work on, as Step said. Bring in elements and changes more slowly, and stagger them. Avoid sudden transitions until you have other forms of transition down first. :)
The last half of the song sounds like some ethnic Far East thing... like you should get a Guzheng and have the melody played on Erdu with some gong crashes in the background. XD
Overall a decent piece! Keep working! Keep compos(ed/ing)!
-Samulis